Grandparenting in the 21st Century
The Emotional Strains of Grandparents Raising Their Grandchildren
The family unit is much different than it was 25 years ago. As the population ages, older people have many concerns about the future. The cost of health care, limited income, and becoming parents to their grandchildren are all issues that can affect an aging person's mental health.
The Challenges of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
According to the AARP, approximately 2.4 million grandparents are raising their grandchildren. Many grandparents are taking care of their grandchildren because the biological parents cannot take care of their own kids. The most common reasons that biological parents are absent are due to drugs or death. While taking care of small children is already difficult, the issue is compounded by economic issues. Older retired people are living off of reduced benefits such as social security (Butler, Lewis, & Sunderland, 1998). Many of today's elderly are living at the poverty line, or close to it.
There may be mental health challenges for aging people faced with the constant demands of being a parent again. Although taking this on this responsibility is noble, it sometimes comes at a great cost to the grandparent's health (Hughes, Waite, LaPierre, & Luo, 2007). Particularly, the grandparent's mental health could be compromised because many older people already have emotional issues that have been undiagnosed.
The Emotional Impact of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
The AARP identifies 4 emotional reactions that grandparents have when taking on the task of raising their grandchildren:
- Anger. Many grandparents in this situation thought that this time was supposed to be their time for rest and relaxation. They had paid their dues and now they should be able to retire, travel, and work on their favorite hobbies. Taking care of small children takes this freedom away, and many grandparents become resentful for it.
- Guilt. Grandparents feel some guilt for how things turned out with their adult children. If they had handled things differently, perhaps they would not be in this situation.
- Stress. There are so many decisions for grandparents to make when they are raising their grandchildren such as registering them for school, social worker visits, and the everyday costs of raising a child.
- Loneliness. Unless grandparents are in a community filled with other grandparents raising grandchildren, many feel like they are going through this challenging time alone.
Other issues include teenage rebellions and the challenge of equipping grandchildren with new technology while keeping them safe. In addition, there are role conflicts between the natural role of grandparent and the new role of "parent". Grandparents traditionally love to spoil their grandkids with little discipline. The role of disciplinarian may be difficult for the grandparent and grandchild to comprehend.
Grandparents raising grandchildren face many challenges including emotional issues that could affect their mental health. This situation is becoming more common in many families today. Although grandparents should be commended for taking on this responsibility, it is important for them to remember to take care of themselves.
References
AARP. "Finding help to raise a grandchild." aarp.org 2009.
Butler, R., Lewis, M., & Sunderland, T. Aging and mental health: positive psychosocial and biomedical approaches. (5th ed). Austin, TX: Pro-Ed.1998.
Hughes, M., Waite, L., LaPierre, T., & Luo, Y. "All in the family: the impact of caring for grandchildren on grandparents health". The Journals of Gerontology, 62, 108. 2007.
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