The joys of being grandparents seem to be acquired through the years with knowledge, skills, and attitudes that make older people loving and interesting. Many maturing men and women report that they find greater satisfaction in their grandchildren and great-grandchildren than they did with their own children, only due to the fact that the pressures of parenthood weighed heavily upon them and made quality time scarce and difficult.
At this time, not all new grandparents are aware that there are many "do's" and "don'ts" that should be observed to claim the role of the super grandparent.
A Few Tips To Consider
- Be there at the grandchild's birth. If at all possible, arrange with the parents to be there (inside or outside the delivery room) when your grandchild is born. Bonding with the baby from day one is a great way to build a strong three-generational family. Many grandparents say this experience is a monumental moment in their lives.
- One-on-one time. Spend as much time alone with your grandchild as possible. With multiple grandchildren, give each their "one-on-one" time. Do not play favorites. This fundamental connection between you and your grandchild fully blossoms when the child has your undivided attention in a relaxed setting.
- Be part of your grandchild's life. Keep up to date with your grandchild's day-to-day life. There is no need to be present every day to have an everyday presence. Think about emails or just pick up the phone.
- Remember birthdays, holidays and special moments. Send a card and a gift. If sending money is your choice and there are several children of different ages, it may be best to pro-rate the amount according to age.
- Emphasize that "doing is better than having." On regular visits, give the grandchildren fun things to do, rather than going to the mall and buying presents. Try to find unusual activities and adventures that will stick in their memory.
- There are usually four grandparents. Please do not set up any rivalry over gifts or competition for visiting rights.
- Be a role model. It's important that your grandchild see you use your wisdom and experience in a loving and caring way. A good relationship with your grandchild and his/her parents will set the stage for the time when they "move up" the generational ladder themselves.
- Check first with the parents. When making plans or decisions, always check with the parents first. Remember they are the primary parents and you are just a "back-up."
- Long distance grandparenting can be rewarding too. Everyone enjoys receiving mail, so send letters to your grandchild. Describe your feelings, hopes, dreams, and what you did when you were your grandchild's age. Kids love this information. Other alternatives to letters are phone calls, recorded cassettes and videos, photographs, homemade gifts, and books that have been autographed by you.
Whether your contribution to your grandchildren is large or small, what you do is important. When a close, intimate grandparent/grandchild relationship has been formed, an attachment is often developed for life. With this attachment comes the experience of being loved and accepted, a sense of security and warmth, a historical sense of family, and the gift of a role model for the future. Being "grand" is not hard; just be "you"!
Extra Sources
For added reading check out these websites about grandparenting.
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